Sorority Girl Shocked to Find ‘The Odyssey’ More Than Greek Life Circlejerk

Upon finding out that her “Ancient Greek Debates” course does not derive all of its readings from sorority-run “news” site “The Odyssey,” junior Stacey Linen reports feeling “so attacked right now.” Linen bitterly reflected on the first day of class, when she was excited for the required text, assuming it would be identical articles with content as empty as the minds of the people writing them. As it turns out, the professor was actually referring to the single most influential piece of Greek literature of all time, and not a listicle on how to get a flat stomach by #sb2k16. “I should have known there was something wrong,” Professor Green sighed, looking at an email from Linen concerning a typo in the syllabus and reading aloud, “‘I know you think you know everything about Greek life and all, but you wrote ‘Homer’ instead of ‘Homie’... spellchekc much?’”

Linen eventually found out that the course is about Greek civilization, history, and culture when she got a failing grade on her paper about The Fall of Troy. Linen was unable to differentiate a story of a city under attack from the largely dramatized movie about it starring Brad Pitt, whose steamy, yet slightly historically inaccurate depiction of Achilles “made her a woman.”

“I thought that by ‘writing about epics,’ they meant we’d be writing about how dope our new sorority house is,” explained Linen. When Linen was asked how this miscommunication came to be, she replied by saying she ignored the “Ancient” part in the course title in the same way she ignored any on-campus organizations that didn’t cost as much as a second college tuition.