Girl Experiences St Patrick’s Day Crisis Because Green Isn’t Really Her Color

Once a year on St. Patrick’s Day, when luck is supposed to be in the air, FSU sophomore Jennifer Bare feels anything but lucky. In an exclusive interview, she confessed to the Eggplant, “I love drinking, but I look really bad in green!” Bare shared that she even tends to be less environmentally “green”, because the thought of the word alone makes her eyes swell with tears and she has to frantically make sure she doesn’t have any on her person.

Bare builds a pros and cons list each year to decide if the shame of everyone seeing her in green is worth what could be the year’s best booze fest. This year’s list so far is as follows:

Pros:

Everyone is drunk so they probably won’t remember

I heard Jacqueline looks bad in green too, so I could take a photo of her to hang on my motivation board

Great excuse to wear glitter <3

Parents will think therapist is helping

Being drunk is when I hate myself least

I’ve been waiting to be around drunk Tod so I can hold him to mistakes in the morning

Cons:

Everyone wants to puke and laugh when they look at me

Jacqueline stays home

Wearing green is when I hate myself most

Tod hates glitter

Bare’s roommate Amanda Jordan stated, “Last year I found her black out drunk in my closet around 5pm. She was lying in a mix of all my green clothes whispering, ‘green is mean’ so yeah… I’m not really looking forward to the holiday either.”

Only time will tell what decision Bare makes this St. Patrick’s Day, but if history truly repeats itself, we probably won’t be seeing her at The Strip.