It’s November, which means midterms are over and final projects are just beginning!
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Everyone’s favorite holiday that's not really a holiday is finally here! While the college kids of Tallahassee complete the finishing touches to their sexy take on wildlife, the suburban kids are getting their shit together to gear up for the most competitive and vicious night of the year.
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For those not living under a rock - or more appropriately in a doomsday bunker - it may seem like the end of humanity is knock knock knockin’ on Earth’s door.
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Snapchat memories were first introduced as a way to cherish old memories that technology has programmed people to believe that they could never remember.
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The air is getting cooler, the leaves are beginning to fall and your mom won’t stop pestering you to get your damn flu shot - that’s right folks, Christian girl autumn is in full swing. While the month of October is known to bring about the first whispers of cuffing season, keep in mind that there are plenty of other concoctions the universe has been conjuring up. Hold onto your tighty whities, because October is about to be a month full of twists, turns and jump-scares galore.
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Cool kids and douchebag adults alike have been sucking up the sweet pods of nicotine juice for years now.
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It’s not just you - we all thought we were done with the women’s rights and human decency catastrophe that is Brett Kavanaugh.
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Most would agree that the music industry today is nothing like it was back in the day, just like everyone’s older cousin puts it after referencing their college anthem, “Like A G6” by the Far East Movement.
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There are seemingly endless options of the infamous White Claw drink: Black Cherry, Grapefruit and Raspberry, to name a few.
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With the new school year officially in full swing, one can only hope that the universe is on their side. As tests, papers, and projects begin to loom in the distance, FSU students can rest easy knowing that the experienced and reliable astrological defense force here at The Eggplant FSU is here to provide the utmost cosmic guidance for the days to come. This September, get ready for some twists and turns as everyone attempts to navigate the most pointless month of the year.
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For Floridians, the days and weeks leading up to a major hurricane are a perplexing time.
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Like Winter, the eighth and final season of Game of Thrones has arrived, and there are still many who haven't seen a single episode besides Sunday night’s premiere but still desperately want to crack “Winter Is Coming” jokes just about as much as Jon Snow wants to bone his sister.
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It was a typical Tallahassee Friday night for FSU senior Amanda Bagans when she was hit with an all-consuming, earth-shattering thought: “should I get wine-drunk this weekend?”
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At long last, Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s report on the two-year investigation into potential criminal conspiracy between Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign and the Russian government is out for all to read.
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Not to sound too much like your normie mom on your nightly phone call, but gosh darnit, this year is truly flying the heck by. Our tried and true astrologers at The Eggplant FSU are here to offer you the interstellar guidance needed to take on finals season like the cosmic powerhouse you are.
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Just in case you needed another reminder that we’re already a quarter of the way through 2019 and are steadily approaching ultimate demise as time continues to escape us, Twitter tells me that March Madness is almost over!
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While the resurgence of Jonas Brother hysteria has taken social media by storm, one of contemporary history’s most pressing arguments has found its way back to the forefront of public consciousness: which JoBro is the hottest?
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No, it’s not just you - the past two months were indeed a blur, reminding us of other life experiences that happened in a flash like prom or your first time watching Titanic (who knew it was three hours long?).
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While the strange ongoings of everyday Florida seem commonplace here, perhaps a man marrying his an alligator is startling to those from out of state.
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Hopping into an Uber after a near-death experience and pretending like your entire life isn't in shambles is a millennial rite of passage.
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