Final exams have made this last week of school hectic for many, especially for Cal Brennan, a student who is desperate to pass his beer tasting class.
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Finals week has taken over campuses nationwide, and FSU students are walking in a haze of regret, coffee binges, and counterproductive Netflix marathons.
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As the holidays approach, Florida State is slowly being adorned with decorations that seem entirely out of place considering the surrounding palm trees, and still prominent sweat factor.
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FSU senior Charlie Patterson felt many bittersweet emotions Sunday as for the final time in his undergraduate career, he waited patiently until 5pm to obtain his free student ticket to this weekend’s football game, only to immediately turn around and sell it on Facebook.
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A cold front has taken over in the past 24 hours, with temperatures sinking lower than the average friend group's combined GPA's.
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With midterm exams coming to a close, most students are bubbling with the excitement of making it “over the hump” into the second half of the semester.
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Continuing with the trend of sacrificing student quality-of-life for financial gain, Florida State University has issued an e-mail to all students living on campus, instructing them to evacuate their dorms by 8:00 PM Friday night, the day before the Notre Dame-Florida State game.
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Students in the third window for Notre Dame tickets were seen picketing the lobby of the student services offices this morning to fight for ticket window equality.
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After months of listening to nearly everybody she knows brag about tapas in Spain and all the drugs they did and the prostitutes they allegedly didn’t do in Amsterdam, FSU international affairs major Emily Burkenstein is fed up.
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Media Productions major and self-proclaimed film expert Corey Brown has spent all week lashing out against FSU’s renowned film program. His goal is to make it clear that he couldn’t care less about the film school and also that his feelings on the subject have absolutely nothing to do with the fact that his application to the program was just rejected for the third time.
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After a summer of keeping it in their pants, FSU’s nudist club “Naturally FSU” has decided to start off their activities this semester with a literal bang. The club announced this afternoon that on the eve of October’s first full moon they’ll be having the ride of their life: an all-inclusive orgy.
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FSU advisor Mary Belton has had a crazy beginning of fall semester. Between maintaining her hourly 30 minute coffee break, and sexting FSU presidential candidate John Thrasher, finding time to actually advise students has been difficult.
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"Weed."- Ally Spencer
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Most college students dread the icebreaker questions that signify the first day of class, but for FSU junior Stacy Chiles, it was the day she had been waiting for all summer long.
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As any sorority member or potential member will tell you, Panhellenic recruitment is no joke. And nobody is laughing less than current Rush-ee Lilly McBride.
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Incoming freshmen Spencer Greene spent his first night on campus disappointed and confused after quickly realizing that the college experience is nothing like how it is portrayed on Pornhub.
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After a strenuous day of moving in their freshmen daughter Lexi Higgins, FSU alumni Janet and Bill Higgins have decided to take another whack at college life altogether.
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2:15 PM: Receive text from that one hit or miss friend reading “LETS GET TRASHY TONIGHT Y’ALL”
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Recent high school grad Colby Jones has spent all summer preparing for his new life at FSU.
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