Students in the third window for Notre Dame tickets were seen picketing the lobby of the student services offices this morning to fight for ticket window equality.
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After months of listening to nearly everybody she knows brag about tapas in Spain and all the drugs they did and the prostitutes they allegedly didn’t do in Amsterdam, FSU international affairs major Emily Burkenstein is fed up.
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Sick of jumping through the hoops of the normal Market Wednesday rules and regulations, freshman Larry Gizmo has decided to take matters into his own hands.
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The Florida State Department of Anthropology has begun an online Kickstarter fund in an attempt to elicit enough donations to move away from the decrepit strip mall where it is currently located.
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Despite having led multiple championship teams onto the field, beloved FSU icon Renegade was relieved of his duties as FSU mascot on Saturday.
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FSU’s Parent’s Weekend 2014 kicked off to a rainy start today. Despite the university’s fervent efforts to entertain what appears to be a massive casting call for an Old Navy commercial, FSU parents have been thus far disappointed with the weekend’s events.
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Local flag retailers reported early Thursday morning that their entire inventory of Confederate flags has been depleted due to the increased demand generated by the arrivals of country music star Luke Bryan and former Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul.
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Cast your votes and remember to uphold the garnet and gold.
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Media Productions major and self-proclaimed film expert Corey Brown has spent all week lashing out against FSU’s renowned film program. His goal is to make it clear that he couldn’t care less about the film school and also that his feelings on the subject have absolutely nothing to do with the fact that his application to the program was just rejected for the third time.
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To my fellow students,
My name is Stefano Cavallaro, and I’m the student body president here at Florida State University. Now, some of you may be thinking, “I don’t remember voting for this guy.” You’re right – you probably didn’t.
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Each pledge season, fraternities at Florida State University bring in a wide range of people, from white males who secretly respect females and hate themselves, to white males who openly disrespect females and love themselves. Freshman Curtis Bottoms, however, decided to rush a fraternity to be a part of the legendary hazing.
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This morning, Chief Osceola had a rude awakening when he received the disturbing call that the beloved FSU mascot, Renegade, had spent the night at an impound lot on the charges of a parking violation.
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This afternoon, now ex- senator John Thrasher was officially named the new president of Florida State University. Despite fervent disapproval from the majority of teachers and students, the College Republicans are about it, and will be throwing a “White Thrash Wednesday” party tomorrow night to celebrate the university’s new overlord.
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Florida State announced last week that actor/comedian Kenan Thompson will be opening for John Mulaney at this year’s Pow Wow. This has sparked much excitement within the student body, most of whom still think Kenan is “the one who loves orange soda.”
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Heisman trophy winning quarterback Jameis Winston walked into his early morning history class on Monday wearing full shoulder pads and a helmet. According to reports, he stayed in uniform until Jimbo Fisher showed up to tell him to get the fuck out and to take his damn pads off again.
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FSU announced late Friday evening that star quarterback and all-around good guy Jameis Winston will be suspended for the entire game against conference rival Clemson.
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In a shocking turn of events this week at FSU, a football player has been held responsible for his actions. Tuesday afternoon Jameis Winston was seen around various spots on campus yelling, “fuck her right in the pussy!”
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Florida State University has been abuzz for weeks about tonight’s event on campus with acclaimed scientist Bill Nye. This is the most excited students have been for a non-football event since the last I’m Shmacked video.
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After a summer of keeping it in their pants, FSU’s nudist club “Naturally FSU” has decided to start off their activities this semester with a literal bang. The club announced this afternoon that on the eve of October’s first full moon they’ll be having the ride of their life: an all-inclusive orgy.
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As fraternity rush comes to a close, FSU students prepare themselves to be comforted by one single thought: “at least I’m not a pledge.” However, not everyone is excited to see the yearly flood of navy blue blazers and khaki pants.
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