After the embarrassing, soul-crushing, absolutely devastating defeat the Gators suffered at the hands of the Seminoles last night, University of Florida students spent even more time mourning than they normally do after they wake up and remember that they’re still in Gainesville.
Read MoreAs UF Hate Week draws to a close, we’d like to take a moment to thank the age demographic that consistently delivers the best kind of humor - dads.
Read MoreWith a history of feigned perfection, a crack in the system has finally forced University of Florida students to admit a truth known to apparently everybody but them- the orange and blue color combination is honestly pretty terrible.
Read MoreFollowing widespread steroid usage among the Gator football team stemming from former starting quarterback Will Grier’s failed drug test, the UF athletic department announced Wednesday that they must now fund the creation of new athletic cups to help protect the team’s itty bitty nuts.
Read MoreAs your Aunt Linda probably says, “It's almost Turkey Day!” That means if you live south of Tallahassee, you most likely have to drive past that god forsaken hell hole some people call Gainesville.
Read MoreA new study has found that, despite being so far up their own university’s ass that they can see out the mouth, UF students still prefer to spend their weekends in Tallahassee.
Read MoreThe editor-in-chief of University of Florida’s satire publication, The Really Independent Florida Crocodile, produced a document signed in alligator blood early Monday morning vowing that their publication will start being funny in 2016.
Read MoreDespite my initial warning, CNN has chosen to go through with its broadcast of an abomination entitled The Hunting Ground.
Read MoreWith finals swiftly approaching, junior Carson Day has announced that he will be taking a break from his night time social media routine until exams are done, and not only successfully closed his Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Vine, and Tumblr apps but also managed to not open them again two seconds later.
Read MoreHere he is!
Read MoreFreshman Marco Alvarez died early Tuesday morning, a mere week before Thanksgiving break because he refused to go grocery shopping.
Read MoreIn the wake of the tragic terrorist attacks in Paris, the French Red Cross is refuting the overwhelmingly popular consensus that putting filters on profile pictures or tweeting about how sad you are about the tragedy with the hashtag “#PrayForParis” actually helps support Parisians in need.
Read MoreEach year, freshmen enter college with deep, burning questions: what does homecoming mean now? What’s the theme? Is there still going to be a dry hump-fest in the gymnasium?
Read MoreTaking a break from their busy schedule of secretly brewing craft beer in the All Saint’s bathroom and writing not-likely-to-be-published think pieces on the genius of Shia LaBeouf, Tallahassee’s year-round bearded men are finally taking a stand against the annual ‘No Shave November’ event, which they believe is appropriating their culture.
Read MoreTo celebrate Veteran's Day today, Pi Kappa Alpha has raised almost a thousand dollars to help support veterans and get them what they really need: American flag "Chubbies."
Read MoreDespite overarching, seemingly obvious evidence that granting people more access to firearms increases the chance of being shot, as well as a less-than-year-old shooting on the FSU campus, the Florida Senate and House of Representatives are well on their way to voting in favor of HB 4001, more cutely known as campus carry.
Read MoreAfter recent losses to the Clemson Tigers and the what should have been the far less intimidating Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, the Florida State Seminoles are experiencing a strange season in which they do not have to come up with a new pun to describe their winning streak on Instagram every weekend.
Read MoreListen up you sweaty sacks of alligator shit, I’ve been getting a lot of complaints lately about this pathetic excuse for fall weather I’ve got going right now.
Read MoreFinishing up perhaps the largest clusterfuck of weekend activities, many Florida State students are treating today as a metaphorical crossing of the finish line to mark their successful completion of Parents’/Halloween Weekend.
Read MoreFSU’s Homecoming week is quickly approaching, and with it of course comes the largely anticipated Pow Wow celebration in the civic center.
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