Ever since Oglesby Union was reduced to a slow-moving heap of brick-paved hell, FSU hasn’t been the same.
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After a fiery season of football or whatever boomers are calling it nowadays, FSU’s team finally got their sh*t together and won the last two games they needed to make a bowl game.
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It is common knowledge that the only half-decent place in Nole Nation is Einstein Bagels. The only downside is that this is common knowledge.
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Scientists from all over have begun to investigate what they call the “Suwannee Room Effect” which has caused countless students to swipe their FSUIDs and fill their little plates to critical capacity.
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In light of the recent FSU football-Apprentice crossover episode (read: you’re fired), the new student union has been delayed yet again as an oval ball of leather has been prioritized over student organizations that further the development of a top twenty university—not to mention a functional Einstein Bros.
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Well, it happened. One of the biggest weeks of the year for people who wished they could have gone to prom a fifth time in high school came around at last: Homecoming.
Much like everything else on campus, new buildings at FSU are seldom built on time. Let’s face it - by the time the “new” Earth, Ocean, and Atmospheric Science building has a grand opening, Salley will already be a big ol’ pile of rubble.
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Homecoming is a special time at FSU - the frats are always suspended, the football team is always bad, SGA members act like they work at the fucking Pentagon while protecting the identity of the PowWow performer and students across campus secretly ask themselves why this whole thing even exists.
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Everyone has seen that student who sleeps through lectures several times a week, yet still comes out with a high “A” like “it wasn’t that hard or anything.”
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Homecoming has arrived, and while all three people organizing FSU’s Homecoming performance were scrambling to find enough foldable chairs for the event, the FSU Sailing Club was sinking into some hard truths.
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Whether it’s the fire lane of Traditions Garage or some strange backlot behind one friend’s freshman year roommate’s sorority house, parking is hard.
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It’s midterm season and everyone is looking for their next sweet caffeine high like freaking fiends.
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HCB is a landmark building for every lost freshman on Florida State’s campus. Legend says that it stands for Huge Crazy Boner or something else just as crazy bonkers
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When staring into space in a lecture, there are many, many ways the class can go horribly wrong.
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The FSU Marching Chiefs are recognized worldwide for their suffocating jackets and goofy hats, but for true FSU football fans, it would not be an FSU football game without a kid in the drumline passing out after half time.
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Each semester, students from all over the United States pack their bags to study abroad. It’s a special time for students to experience different cultures, pretend to learn a new language and make countless back-to-back posts on Instagram.
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It’s five minutes before your class starts, and you’re at least a 15 minute walk from HCB. While passing the Shores building, you suddenly make eye contact with the last person you’d ever expect or want to see: the one kid from your high school who goes to FSU.
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Everyone who’s anyone knows that FSU is currently on the come-up. After moving into the prestigious Top Twenty status, FSU had truly been thriving thanks to raking in multi-million dollar donations made by old, philanthropist sugar daddies and recent graduates who figure they owe the school something for making their degree more valuable.
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This past weekend saw hoards of mothers and fathers entering Tallahassee’s city limits to get their fifteenth chance at the college lifestyle.
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It was an open mic-night like any other. Angsty college students stumbled on stage in an attempt to humor their peers who will laugh whether they’re actually funny or not.
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