Oh gosh. Oh boy. Oh golly. Look at ‘em. Look at ‘em go. They’re little, ah! They’ve got little hats and mittens!
If you’re like everyone else, you’ve spent the last week watching your Spotify Wrapped story over and over again.
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In an effort to keep up the trend of disappointing President Thrasher, FSU students continue to ignore health and safety guidelines during the pandemic.
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On this particularly apocalyptic Hallows Eve, the spirits of past whores that would die first in a horror movie will be guarding the flight to the infamous Recess.
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In more recent news, Tallahassee, one of the blessed towns to exist directly adjacent to Hell, is beginning the process of fully reopening bars and restaurants, despite the very much ongoing pandemic.
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Now that it's officially spooky season, we can’t help but obsess over the rise of living room candy bowls and crisp weather, especially because it’s a damn miracle we’ve been able to stay in school all the way until midterms.
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Earlier this year, Ron DeSantis called the plague into Florida. Tragically, not even every Greek restaurant in Tallahassee combined has enough lamb’s blood to protect the deadly fate awaiting FSU’s grisly party-goers.
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In light of last weekend’s controversial curfew, the Tallahassee Police Department has decided to extend this seemingly unnecessary mandate.
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Entering the new fall semester, FSU has been proudly boasting their minimally invasive and totally reliable FDA approved COVID-19 testing.
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Okay, okay. We know the Tennessee Street Target is an easy ... target.
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Botched rhinoplasties and black market silicone injections have run rampant between the bookshelves of Strozier and beneath the bleachers of Doak for years. Yet, this bloody jungle gym of body modification has only expanded as a new form of cosmetic crafternooning roots itself at FSU by the skin of their teeth, more specifically, their wisdom teeth.
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Cold weather has long been a special occasion in Florida. Many have come to expect the hazardous amount of mosquitos or the “wet blanket” feeling of the humidity from our beloved Sunshine State. Yet, when a light breeze rolled through Landis Green last week, everyone was eager to flex their L.L.Bean jackets and wool scarves they bought for their family trip to North Carolina.
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As the stroke of midnight struck on Halloween, every Spirit Halloween store vanished in an instant.
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It’s finally fallen below 80 degrees outside, the football team is preparing for their inevitable loss to UM, and the only frat left on campus is Phi Eta Sigma. You know what that means: it’s Halloween!
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Picture this: it’s a Tuesday night, and for some unknown reason you let your roommates convince you to go out.
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Whether you’re trying to buy intravenous drugs or meet some friendly local prostitutes, the Centre of Tallahassee is your one-stop-shop.
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After a long night of enjoying some wholesome, under-funded theater on campus, there’s no better release than strolling into your friendly neighborhood Waffle House.
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As college students, everyone is looking to save as much money as possible while engaging in benders of reckless spending.
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Spring break is approaching again to not only separate the boys from the men but to distinguish the students with healthy childhoods from those who will be spending an entire week drinking to forget.
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Our mothers, doctors and teachers all warned us! They wagged their fingers and lectured all the while about the quickly approaching flu season. Even the four Emily’s from ENC2135, riddled with wicked coughs, contagious chills and without a right to be in public served as ghastly omens.
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