As the FSU student body pretends to know and care what is happening with the presidential search, two names have emerged as top candidates for the position: interim president Dr. Garnett Stokes and republican senator John Thrasher. Both candidates bring their own unique qualifications to the table.
Read MoreFSU advisor Mary Belton has had a crazy beginning of fall semester. Between maintaining her hourly 30 minute coffee break, and sexting FSU presidential candidate John Thrasher, finding time to actually advise students has been difficult.
Read MoreAs FSU students returned to campus this fall, they were greeted with the sudden reality that the familiar bus routes everyone has come to know and love were completely redone in an effort to show that a presidential search isn’t the only thing FSU administration can fuck up.
Read MoreIn response to recent events across the country, Florida State University announced today that they are beginning an initiative to heavily arm every RA on campus.
Read MoreFSU History Professor Barry Crockard has spent all summer planning the biggest party of the semester.
Read MoreThis summer has been a busy one for the people of Florida State University. In between pretending to care about soccer and trying to keep Jameis Winston away from Publix, the university has also been tasked with trying to find a new president.
Read MoreRecent high school grad Colby Jones has spent all summer preparing for his new life at FSU.
Read MoreA group of prospective students and their parents left Florida State University this afternoon extremely upset after walking around campus for three hours without seeing any shootings or police chases.
Read MoreFlorida State University students have been in a frenzy this week after the university issued a mandatory password change for every student and faculty member in response to a potential security breach.
Read MoreA video released today by UF’s most musically and artistically talented students proves that due to the university’s recent lack of success in pretty much everything, Gator fans have to look back fifty years to the invention of Gatorade to find anything worth bragging about.
Read MoreFlorida State University held a special ceremony this morning to honor the brave Tallahassee Police detectives who played a crucial role in securing a third national championship for FSU by not doing anything at all.
Read MoreFSU Flying High Circus members have been extremely busy over the last week and a half with their spring show “Platinum.”
Read MoreAmelia Thatcher is no everyday woman, or as she would refer to herself “womyn.”
Read MoreFlorida State students and fans across the globe are expressing outrage today at the release of a new logo for its athletic teams, which is essentially an updated version of the logo they all knew and ignored until the new one came out.
Read MoreEvery year on his birthday, Jack Thompson is let down when none of his Dungeons and Dragons buddies will travel to Tallahassee from their respective moms’ basements to celebrate with him and/or throw him into Westcott Fountain.
Read MoreFSU Anthropology professor Dr. Craig Reynolds has been so inspired by the polite reaction to his recent jokes that he has decided to tour the country doing stand up comedy.
Read MoreFSU’s famous band the Marching Chiefs has recently expressed concern towards their drum major Johnathon Lemon’s new girlfriend Yolo, a Japanese exchange student majoring in Studio Art.
Read MoreThis weekend, sophomore Carrie Cornetto hosted hew own Dance Marathon in her dorm room to protest the Greek system that she thinks is ruining the integrity of the student body.
Read MorePresident Eric Barron’s farewell to Florida State University and its students culminated today with a lively speech for the tens of people gathered in front of Westcott Fountain.
Read MoreChristian Campus Fellowship, one of the largest ministries at Florida State University, has temporarily shut its doors after realizing that FSU students had become so sinful it just wasn’t worth it anymore.
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