Each pledge season, fraternities at Florida State University bring in a wide range of people, from white males who secretly respect females and hate themselves, to white males who openly disrespect females and love themselves. Freshman Curtis Bottoms, however, decided to rush a fraternity to be a part of the legendary hazing.
Read MoreThis morning, Chief Osceola had a rude awakening when he received the disturbing call that the beloved FSU mascot, Renegade, had spent the night at an impound lot on the charges of a parking violation.
Read MoreThis afternoon, now ex- senator John Thrasher was officially named the new president of Florida State University. Despite fervent disapproval from the majority of teachers and students, the College Republicans are about it, and will be throwing a “White Thrash Wednesday” party tomorrow night to celebrate the university’s new overlord.
Read MoreFlorida State announced last week that actor/comedian Kenan Thompson will be opening for John Mulaney at this year’s Pow Wow. This has sparked much excitement within the student body, most of whom still think Kenan is “the one who loves orange soda.”
Read MoreHeisman trophy winning quarterback Jameis Winston walked into his early morning history class on Monday wearing full shoulder pads and a helmet. According to reports, he stayed in uniform until Jimbo Fisher showed up to tell him to get the fuck out and to take his damn pads off again.
Read MoreFSU announced late Friday evening that star quarterback and all-around good guy Jameis Winston will be suspended for the entire game against conference rival Clemson.
Read MoreIn a shocking turn of events this week at FSU, a football player has been held responsible for his actions. Tuesday afternoon Jameis Winston was seen around various spots on campus yelling, “fuck her right in the pussy!”
Read MoreFlorida State University has been abuzz for weeks about tonight’s event on campus with acclaimed scientist Bill Nye. This is the most excited students have been for a non-football event since the last I’m Shmacked video.
Read MoreAfter a summer of keeping it in their pants, FSU’s nudist club “Naturally FSU” has decided to start off their activities this semester with a literal bang. The club announced this afternoon that on the eve of October’s first full moon they’ll be having the ride of their life: an all-inclusive orgy.
Read MoreAs the FSU student body pretends to know and care what is happening with the presidential search, two names have emerged as top candidates for the position: interim president Dr. Garnett Stokes and republican senator John Thrasher. Both candidates bring their own unique qualifications to the table.
Read More"Weed."- Ally Spencer
Read MoreMost college students dread the icebreaker questions that signify the first day of class, but for FSU junior Stacy Chiles, it was the day she had been waiting for all summer long.
Read MoreFSU History Professor Barry Crockard has spent all summer planning the biggest party of the semester.
Read MoreAs any sorority member or potential member will tell you, Panhellenic recruitment is no joke. And nobody is laughing less than current Rush-ee Lilly McBride.
Read MoreIncoming freshmen Spencer Greene spent his first night on campus disappointed and confused after quickly realizing that the college experience is nothing like how it is portrayed on Pornhub.
Read MoreAfter a strenuous day of moving in their freshmen daughter Lexi Higgins, FSU alumni Janet and Bill Higgins have decided to take another whack at college life altogether.
Read MoreBeloved FSU Quarterback Jameis Winston was cited by the TPD for allegedly stealing crab legs this past Tuesday. Winston claims the act was consensual between him and Publix.
Read More5:00 PM
Take shower in community bathroom and listen to R. Kelly to prepare for some potential outside the shirt boob fondling.
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