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The Eggplant
It’s St. Patrick’s Day: The Perfect Way College Students Are Justifying Their Alcoholism This Week
It’s St. Patrick’s Day: The Perfect Way College Students Are Justifying Their Alcoholism This Week

While the Ides of March may have passed by without a single politician being stabbed, the next chaotically meme-worthy holiday is already upon us.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 17, 2021
Indie Guy Would Totally Kiss a Man if He “Had To”
Indie Guy Would Totally Kiss a Man if He “Had To”

Converse, beanies and suede jackets are the proud emblems of the indie male: a soft boy who trots his open-mindedness and wokeness by using such words as “insofar” and “writ large.”

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 15, 2021
Is Model UN Just LARPing?
Is Model UN Just LARPing?

Have you ever wanted to lead a committee meeting on drone laws in Pakistan? Or discuss the impact of capital punishment in the Marvel Universe? Probably not.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 11, 2021
Local Art Ho 5 Days Clean From Going to House Shows
Local Art Ho 5 Days Clean From Going to House Shows

With the quarantine anniversary coming up and COVID still not going away, people haven’t been able to gather in large groups for a while.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 8, 2021
Freshman Boy Reviews “Promising Young Woman” **Spoiler Free**
Freshman Boy Reviews “Promising Young Woman” **Spoiler Free**

After months of delays due to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, Emerald Fennell’s directorial debut “Promising Young Woman” has finally hit streaming services.

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The Eggplant FSUMarch 1, 2021
Man With Neck-Beard Insists Women Should Shave More
Man With Neck-Beard Insists Women Should Shave More

Tyler Warren, a proud men’s rights advocate, has recently spoken out about ‘a new plague’ that threatens our youth.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 25, 2021
Lonely Singles Are Happier, Reveals Study Done by Lonely Single
Lonely Singles Are Happier, Reveals Study Done by Lonely Single

FSU has remained academically significant for different factors, one being the major findings achieved by its Psychology research findings.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 17, 2021
Young Woman Arrested for Murder on Valentine’s Day, Claims Mercury Was in Retrograde
Young Woman Arrested for Murder on Valentine’s Day, Claims Mercury Was in Retrograde

At 8:00 pm on the night of February 14th, one of the most toxic days of the year, 21-year-old Lola Mason was found dead in her bathroom after not showing up to her big V-Day plans.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 15, 2021
5 Ways To Celebrate Valentine’s Day with the Guy You’re Just Having Sex With
The Eggplant FSUFebruary 14, 2021
BREAKING: Girl Still Finds a Way To Fantasize About Classmate in Asynchronous Class
BREAKING: Girl Still Finds a Way To Fantasize About Classmate in Asynchronous Class

While online schooling has drastically affected all aspects of campus life, its impact on classroom crushes has been devastating.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 11, 2021
Eggplant Horoscopes February 2021
Eggplant Horoscopes February 2021

We’re one month into this new year that is 2021 and, as we predicted, things haven’t really changed all that much.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 9, 2021
Professor Under Fire After Disabling Little Confetti Feature on Canvas
Professor Under Fire After Disabling Little Confetti Feature on Canvas

In recent news, a local Florida State University professor has been labeled problematic following their decision to remove the confetti feature when students submit homework on Canvas.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 5, 2021
Savvy Grifter Sells Red Beanies on Landis Following Red Beanie Preacher
Savvy Grifter Sells Red Beanies on Landis Following Red Beanie Preacher

Preaching about how FSU students are going to hell is not anything new.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 3, 2021
Loser Alert: Economics Major Explains Supply and Demand To Hit on Girls
Loser Alert: Economics Major Explains Supply and Demand To Hit on Girls

On Florida State University’s campus, there is a building that lures in guys that use 3-in-1 body wash, have light-up keyboards, and have serious issues talking to girls: Bellamy.

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 2, 2021
HCB Skaters: Where Are They Now?
HCB Skaters: Where Are They Now?

These days, campus is a sad and lonely place

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The Eggplant FSUFebruary 1, 2021
Depop Girls Selling Housing Fair T-Shirts, Described As “Vintage, Y2K”
Depop Girls Selling Housing Fair T-Shirts, Described As “Vintage, Y2K”

It’s that time of the year again. Everyone is starting to scramble to secure housing for Fall 2021, but some are profiting off of the struggle more than others.

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 25, 2021
Queer Studies Class Actually Just Group Trauma Bonding With Homework
Queer Studies Class Actually Just Group Trauma Bonding With Homework

The queer studies class brings together a careful balance of students from different demographics.

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 19, 2021
Girl With 74 New Year's Resolutions Still Eating Coffee and Weed for Breakfast
Girl With 74 New Year's Resolutions Still Eating Coffee and Weed for Breakfast

“New year, new me,” chant a whopping 70% of Americans that rely on the Gregorian calendar to solve their addictions, marital problems, or affinity for whatever Ronald McDonald coughs up.

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 15, 2021
BFA Class Rattled: Student Comes Out as Straight
BFA Class Rattled: Student Comes Out as Straight

Classmates of junior BFA Julie Roberts are still scrambling to process the fact that their fellow ceramics student is, in fact, a heterosexual.

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 11, 2021
White Guy in Your Intro To Film Class Probably Won’t Be the Next Spielberg
White Guy in Your Intro To Film Class Probably Won’t Be the Next Spielberg

With the new semester beginning earlier this week, Florida State students are preparing to learn more about their chosen fields and connect with classmates.

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The Eggplant FSUJanuary 8, 2021
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  • The Eggplant FSU
    I haven’t showered since last year😭
    Apr 5, 2023, 8:42 AM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    Investigation into where the fuck those red chairs on landis went
    Apr 2, 2023, 1:42 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    We are unbelievably upset by the accusations laid out in this totally real letter we received. We will continue to… https://t.co/rl1b2cYlY5
    Apr 1, 2023, 2:51 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    hey fools, happy april🤭
    Apr 1, 2023, 1:23 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    Damn, this class is keeping me late🤯🤯🤯 (it ends at 4:20)
    Mar 29, 2023, 4:19 PM
  • The Eggplant FSU
    If our song and mirrorball are gone, what do i have to look forward to for the tampa show, taylor???? (i don’t have tickets)
    Mar 29, 2023, 1:30 PM

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