You hear it every day. This is a really confusing and unprecedented time. Sure, we have no idea when we’re ever going to be able to return to normalcy, and it is unclear if we ever will. One thing’s for sure: if this continues, you will eventually need to find a way to make money.
Read MoreLeaving one’s own personal hobbit hole for the first time in two weeks to pick up another pack of double-stuffed Oreos has become one of the most exhilarating pastimes of current COVID life.
Read MoreAlarm clocks have been put to rest as every person without something to wake up for snoozes through noon.
Read MoreThe quar is hard. It feels like there’s nothing to do but eat every single thing in your pantry and get your roommates to take hot pics of you in bras.
Read MoreSince every day is a new day to accomplish something, it makes complete sense that most college-aged students are dipping into their savings to purchase a Nintendo Switch.
Read MoreSuburban families across the country have begun adjusting to being locked in a house together with a new expectation that they should actually talk to each other.
Read MoreDuring these uncertain, coronavirus-filled times, the most important safety measure for curtailing absolute disaster is staying at home.
Read MoreSpring has finally sprung, and it’s brought the usual warmer weather, steady rain, and tornado of pollen.
Read MoreThe stay-at-home order Governor Desantis instated in Florida this week is very serious.
Read MoreBefore the end times, your old bedroom turned storage closet was just a go-between to toss your crap into before taking off to do one of literally three things that are semi-enjoyable in your hometown.
Read MoreAccording to hip and fun newscasters on every station, people everywhere are expected to stay inside and keep an Adam Driver’s length between each other as COVID-19 makes its way throughout the world.
Read MoreMonarch butterflies only live for about two to three weeks in their lifetime. That’s not much time to experience all the ups and downs this universe has to offer, and more people would recognize the plight of the butterfly if it weren’t for those goddamn attention-seeking honey bees.
Read MoreAs the third Impeachment trial in U.S. history comes to its somber end, noted piece-of-garbage Mitch McConnell hammered the final nail into America’s coffin by essentially rigging the Senate trial by refusing to hear from witnesses—you know, that thing trials are known for.
Read MoreAlthough the long MLK weekend was a welcome sight for college students already burnt out from Syllabus week, the arrival of late January also meant it was time to ghost any New Year’s resolutions faster than whatever frat guy you accidentally swiped right on.
Read MoreWe’re fresh out the gate of a brand-spankin’ new decade and there are already threats of war, heinous Academy Awards nominations and being enticed by the drive-thru signs lit up like the Christmas tree your roommates insist can be décor for any season.
Read MoreYou know ‘em! You love ‘em! It’s officially time for the Coca-Cola polar bears!
Read MoreIt’s November, which means midterms are over and final projects are just beginning!
Read MoreEveryone’s favorite holiday that's not really a holiday is finally here! While the college kids of Tallahassee complete the finishing touches to their sexy take on wildlife, the suburban kids are getting their shit together to gear up for the most competitive and vicious night of the year.
Read MoreFor those not living under a rock - or more appropriately in a doomsday bunker - it may seem like the end of humanity is knock knock knockin’ on Earth’s door.
Read MoreSnapchat memories were first introduced as a way to cherish old memories that technology has programmed people to believe that they could never remember.
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